Umm....

My friend wrote about this and I have been thinking about it for a long time, so here goes;
I wonder about all the pressure we have, to do everything well and more.
I wonder about how we are supposed to look great, workout, dress well and somehow, care for our families while holding down a job, keeping an immaculate home, feeding our families well, being artsy and beautifully creative and in church, keeping our families centered around the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I am not complaining about the last one, it's the only one that keeps me peaceful and happy.

Seriously, who made up these social rules? Can I go and add one more task to their life?
Anyway, I just wish more women and men would boycott this perfection ideal, because the only one that really matters is living Christ's gospel.

But I wonder about all the other things because ultimately we are not robots, we are not perfect and we are controlled, to a small degree, by time.
So I submit to all; to focus on one thing at a time.

We would all be so much happier if we did those 2 things that our prophet has asked, which by the way, is only for our benefit.
Which is; reading the scriptures at least once a day and praying.
I used to ask the Lord, how would doing that would help me?

Somehow I was blessed to be smacked upside the head and shown that those 2 simple things would improve my life, in ways that I could see and feel immediately and so far reaching that I couldn't comprehend yet.

I know that when my family was in the throes of separation and fear, the only thing that got us through it, was prayer and scripture study.

I always wonder about what other kind of distractions and temptations we would have to deal with, if it wasn't this perfection model, but frankly, I'm alot happier being a sloppy me that tries to deal with whatever, (because I don't want to live up to everyone else's ideal of my life), than trying to be someone who I really don't like but somehow gets everything done.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I know that if we put God first and do His Will, His Way (thanks for that Mubeen) that everything else will fall into place, and if it doesn't, then maybe it wasn't something God wanted for us, or we have to try harder and do something different.

Bruce always tells me that we can't depend on God for every answer to every question but that we need to make a decision than ask if it's right.
More and more, I find myself seeing that if we are doing God's will, that the Holy Ghost can tell us what and when to do it.

Believe me when I say, that it is so much better when we are guided, than stumbling through it all.

I just want to end with; I stink at alot of things and might do so till forever but I'm so grateful for the chance to be here and learn.

By the way, here are some things I stink at, but really like;
Scrapbooking ; ask anyone who's seen my stuff, I just can't cut or glue on/in a straight line.
Sewing; same as above plus a fear of sewing machines and patterns trying to swallow me up. Somehow the more I work on something the worse it gets.
Singing/Music; I'm tone deaf and can't read music, but I'm a good listener!
Finishing a project; self explanatory.
I know there are alot of other things but basically it all involves getting something out of my brain and turning it into something concrete or physical. Like a drawing of a dream or a color combo or jewelry- I like making it and always envision nice stuff but my hands won't obey.
My hands and brain aren't exactly sychronized.
It kinda funny, cause I can dance and massage but that's all that I can think of.

Does anyone ever get sick of trying to be perfect? Please tell me that I'm not the only person who is sick of it.

6 comments:

Mackenzie. said...

i love you...
and i'm so proud to call you my sister...
and i'm so glad i have you; to count on you and have your love and support...

Kelli said...

Elisa, make a list of the things you DON'T stink at! (And I don't scrapbook or sew for the same reasons you mentioned.) You are awesome and lovely and thanks for the thoughts on prayer and scriptures.

Hopewell Family said...

Elisa,
I'm not very good at commenting but I want you to know that I appreciate that you share your life with us. I have struggled most of my life with the same things you struggle with. I am now 56 and I don't anymore. Just be who you are and do what you love. You are on the right path. The Lord has blessed you so much and will continue to bless you. I love you.
Roxi

Julie, Seb & Tedly said...

Hey Elisa, I love ALL of your Posts. You always say something I can relate to. So, I feel SUPER enadequate all the time and struggle to get things done and spend enough quality time with Seb. It's exhausting. Lately like crazy, I hate to say it but I sometimes feel like I'm being punished or like chastened EVERY single minute of everyday. It can be very discouraging. And all the commandments and principles we need to observe and keep well I don't always know where to start. I already read and pray twice daily but we are definetely not praying and studying as a family and we usually never have FHE either. This is a good place for me to start and I know that I need to try harder to have more Faith and Trust, I really struggle with that. I'm also really stubborn in that I NEVER ask for help...thats something else I need to work on because I always think I can do EVERTHING by myself...sooo wrong there:) Anyhow, thanks for being you. We are living in perilous times and there are sooo many temptations everywhere. We are all subject to the flesh which has become very clear to me lately, I have to try to remember that our afflictions will be but a small moment and to bear them well...Endure to the end:) I only hope that I can learn form all these things and overcome my weaknesses...which are many. Oh yes Counting your blessings really does help too....Anyway, we love you Elisa!

cat said...

First off I want to tell you that I know we don't know each other that well.. but I have always thought of you as a very beautiful person! Not only on the outside (which I am jealous of!) but you were always nice to me and made me feel welcome. I think that making someone else feel comfortable around you is a talent and a gift! So there is something to put on your list of "things I am good at!" Sometimes we don't even notice the things we are "good at." And yeah, we don't need a dumb list of "what we should look like or do!" I for one am not good at anything on that list, but I can say that I am good at other things.... Like sleeping for example, I am very good at that! ha *sigh sleeping is so nice.. that is when you don't have any worries or cares.

Sorry! Wow I didn't mean to write so much! I just want to say hi and let you know that I look at your blog all the time to see your cute little family!

And here is my link you asked for;
http://catdanny.blogspot.com/

rob said...

See-Saw,

I've been meaning to write back to you for a while . . . you gave me some advice and I didn't want to take it at the time . . . aboput music and putting famil.y first

Well I thought at the time that a contract in Japan was the only way I'd be able to keep playing music. I sortof felt deep down that it wasn't the right thing for my family or me, but I didn't want to admit that because it seemed so attractive to me.
I had experiences which had told me before we went to Japan that I was supposed to bring my sax (sounds silly but it's true, plus your dad told me to take my sax) but while in Japan I was puzzled because I didn't get many opportunities to play for a long time.
Then I got the gig playing as artist in residence 6 nights a week. I thought that this was the answer to why I was supposed to continue playing music. I set up a contract for when/if we came back, without really getting Nicolle on board first.
When I got home nicolle was pregnant and I immediately started pushing for us to go back and do the contract. I thought that this was what I was supposed to do. I was confused about why I had felt an assurance I should bring my sax to Japan, then got what I thought was a great gig, and why then didn't Nicolle want to do it?
Anyway you wrote me that letter saying many true things, and I completely dismissed it. I'd already made up my mind.

months later after much arguing and many difficulties between Nicolle and I because I just wouldn't drop this Japan thing, I hadn't played any gigs on my sax (except in Texas!). I was so frustrated after playing 6 nights a week in Japan to not be performing and using my talent here in Utah.

After many miserable weeks I promised Nicolle I wouldn't bring up Japan any more. We were both so tired of arguing and discussing it.

As usual, God had a different plan for me than what I'd thought.

Now I feel so overwhelmingly blessed that I can't begin to describe it. My day job is great and I get to create great relationships with people of many different cultures, and I get to speak Spanish and Portuguese.

And music is exploding for me here! I've made more money with music than with my day job for the past two months. I've been blessed to put together my own groups with some of the most talented people in the area. I'm probably going to be producing a music TV show for BYUTV this year.

And I love my little family so much! They are the most important thing of all this. I feel like staying here now was putting Nicolle and the kids first, before my own career goals or selfish needs. And since I put them first, I was abundantly blessed in all aspects of life, including my career and personal goals and talents.

Thanks Sisa for being so smart, you and your whole family (especially Nicolle) are so smart in ways I'll never be. I can play a flat-9 scale in F# major in front of a convention crowd of 8 thousand people, I can switch from portuguese to spanish on a dime in the office, but often I can't see the nose on my own face when it comes to the things that matter most.

Thanks for your patience with your silly cunado,
Love Rob